Lost Souls
by Imymadderthanyyou1996
Summary: Bella joins a chatsite by the name Swan106, only to find Edward there, when she moves will Edward recognise his chat buddy? Can two lost souls inevevitably find each other, and love in the process? All human, experimental. rated m for language, no smut. x
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer. I don't own Twilight or it's characters. I own this though. And I'm glad, I intend to make it good. This really is experimental. Please be nice, reviews are loved. **

Chapter 1 – Tunnels and Running.

Edward

I was never meant to hold you,

Never meant to love you.

There was a timer, in the back of my mind.

Counting, always counting.

And then the sands ran out,

My time is up.

I'm sad,

I'm mad

I'm fleeing.

It wasn't till after my time,

That I loved you.

I fell for you,

Hard.

I picked myself up and carried on,

What choice did I have.

Now, I watch from afar,

And try to remember your taste on my lips.

She was broken, that much I was sure of. But as I read this mystery girls profile, I sighed. So was I. I wanted to help her, shocked by this feeling. She was a talented poet, her inspiration and love flew off the page. _Like my lyrics, _I thought wryly. _Go on Cullen, help her. _My subconscious egging me on. I sat at my computer for a full ten minutes, considering. Wavering. Eventually I gave up, and typed that message.

_Two lost souls, inevitably find each other. _

Bella

I stared at the words on the screen, my new message beaming out from my laptop. It was hard, to read. With the Sun of Phoenix batting down on my screen. I had to take it up to my room, just to read it.

_Two lost souls, inevitably find each other. _Cullen106.

I quickly typed my reply.

_What's your take on fate. _Swan209

_What's your take on the tooth fairy. _Cullen106. I laughed, this guy was one of those who answered questions with questions. I liked it.

_Fine for little kids but older ones need more proof. _Swan209.

_Then you have my answer._Cullen106.

_I believe I do._Swan209

_Your talented._Cullen106. I blushed, who blushes at the internet?

_I've read your lyrics._Swan209

_I've read your poem._Cullen106

_It's more of a phrase, I write fiction normally._Swan209

_Why?_Cullen106

_I like to get lost in it, it helps me escape._Swan209

Edward.

What was she running from?

_What are you running from?_Cullen106

_Myself._Swan209. And with that she logged off, I left a couple of messages, then did the same.

"Alice!" I screamed as I saw my pixie sister tearing through my wardrobe singing away happily. She turned to me and shrugged. I glared at the little pixie, she really was a little pixie, misadventures and misdeeds followed her wherever she went. I loved her for it. I tried pulling her out of the closet but she shrugged me off. Finally, I surrendered and sat on the bed, she grinned. I let my mind wander back to today's conversation and smiled to myself, finally interested in a girl. I knew I would never get over Sophie, but I didn't feel the never ending blackness that I felt before. It was still there, but I realised I could see something at the end, a light. Swan209 was _my_ light at the end of the tunnel.

**For every review I add more fluff. **


	2. Morphine

Chapter 2 – Morphine

Edward

I fell asleep that night and dreamt of _her. _Sophie. He blonde hair twisting in the wind, smile gleaming. Blonde hair twisted with blood, smile fading. It was way past three when I decided I had better things to do that tossing and turning. I went to my laptop first, then logged on. I had one message.

_I run from myself, from things that hurt too much, from hope, from dreams. I run from everything that makes us human because being human hurts. _Swan209

I typed my reply grudgingly, we really were two lost souls.

_I run from the things I've done ,from the people I've hurt. from the souls I've saved and the hearts I've crushed. I try to fly but the world pulls me back. I have to be in constant motion, or I fall._Cullen106

Her reply was swift and apologetic.

_We really are messed up, aren't we. Both running from everything, too afraid to look back. If I close my eyes, I can still feel his breath on my cheek, his hands in my hair. There not enough. They hurt too much. He's my aphrodisiac, and like all drugs, he's sucking the life from me, bit by wasted bit._Swan209

Her man didn't deserve her compassion, her mind.

_He only does that because you let him too, show him what he's missing. Fight back_.Cullen106

I meant every word, her reply angered me.

_What if I'm too tired to fight, sick of his angered glances and snarky comments?_Swan209

_Find someone new._Cullen106. I logged off, afraid of her reply. I wasn't ready, I didn't know my mystery girl. I vented all my frustration and all my promises into my lyrics it helped. I named it running.

_Running. _

_His hands in your hair,_

_His breath on your skin._

_You must stand tall, _

_You mustn't give in. _

_Feel it burn, _

_Feel it grow. _

_What ever your feeling,_

_You must let it go. _

_He's no good for you, _

_That is true. _

_Run from the fire, _

_Run from the feeling. _

_Feel it chill, _

_You are healing. _

_He fights with all he's got,_

_He's trying to own it. _

_He needs to learn, _

_He can't control it. _

_Let it burn,_

_Let it show. _

_What ever your felling, _

_You mustn't let it go. _

_He's no good for you, _

_That is true. _

_Run form the fire,_

_Run from the feeling. _

_Feel it chill, _

_You are healing. _

_You are my everything,_

_You are my everything. _

_But I hurt you, and now I must run._

_But I hurt you, and now I must run. _

_Written by Cullen106, inspired by Swan209. _

I posted it and immediately got a response from my mystery girl.

_Did I inspire?_Swan209

_What do you think?_Cullen106

_You always answer questions with questions._Swan209.

_I picked that up from my real mother._Cullen106.

Crap! I typed without thinking.

_Real mother?_Swan209.

She didn't want to pry, she was merely asking.

_My mother died when I was 12, me, my twin and my brother were adopted. We then met Jasper and Rosalie, Esme's other adopted children._Cullen106.

_Your father?_Swan209.

_Was a prick, raped my mother, got me and Alice and then left. My mom had had Emmett before us with another prick._Cullen106.

_I'm sorry._Swan209.

_I don't want you to be sorry._Cullen106

_I like your lyrics._Swan209.

_I like your poem._Cullen106.

_You inspired it._Swan209

_Soft as a whisper, the day breaks._

_I plunge myself back into dreams, not ready to wake. _

_I dreamt of you, all soft and warm,_

_Holding my hand, tearing me back from the storm._

_Your healing me, my mystery. _

_Your erasing my scars, your erasing my fears. _

_I wish I'd known you for years and years. _

_Swan209 inspired by Cullen106. _

I was healing her, she was healing me. She was my morphine, dulling he pain.


	3. First Sight

**Okay, I'll admit it. I'm stuck. Really stuck. I want Edward and Bella to move on in their relationship but outside he internet, they never cross paths and I don't know how to move it on. So, I'm moving it on a few years. Edward and Bella are at Dartmouth, both studying music. **

"Mom, I'm fine. There's no need to worry. I'll be home after the semester anyways." I sighed, Renée really was a worrier, and a compulsive one at that.

"Look mom, I got to go. Music's starting." I explained and cut the call before she could tell me goodbye. I sat near the back and put my bag on the chair next to me. Maybe, that would give me some peace this semester. I put my IPod in and waited for the teacher to arrive. I had got halfway through my song when I felt a two-fingered tap on my shoulder. I inwardly groaned and turned. Only to stop short. The boy next to me was so stunningly gorgeous I took a double-take. His bronze, copper hair was so messy it looked like he had only just tumbled out of bed. My eyes raked down from his hair and took in everything, the gorgeous, smouldering emerald eyes, the high cheekbones, the sculpted nose. And last but in no means least, that luscious, pink mouth. That twitched as if aware of my ogling. His mouth twitched again, this time falling into a-knock-me-down-and-call-me-a-fitty crocked smile. He cleared his throat and I smiled pleasantly, my eyes resting on his eyes.

"Can I sit here?" He asked in a voice that would have melted butter.

"Uh, yeah, sure." I stuttered and quickly cleared away all my stuff. He smiled again and sat down.

"Edward."

"Bella." I replied sweetly and watched as our lecturer entered the class. He was a short, balding man with glasses and crocked teeth. He was nothing compared to the God that sat next to me.

"In music this year each pair, - he gestured to us – are multi sexed. No exceptions. You will each compose a piece of your choice with a melodic instrument of your choice. Each pair will have two compositions to play, but only one can use an instrument. I have placed you in pairs with regard if one of you can sing or not. I will now read the singers out to you."

"Rebecca, Andrew, Ellie, Mathew, Bella, Edward, Jasper and Alice. Your all in your set pairs. Now, get to work." He barked.

"Okay, we both can sing, who's singing?" I asked.

"Well, I usually write for sopranos."

"And I usually write for alto's." He smiled.

"So, then. We write for each other." I concluded, he held out his hand.

"It'll be nice working with you, Bella." He whispered, strangely husky.

"You too." I whispered, the bell went and our hands sprang apart. Funny, the World seemed a whole lot colder without his touch.

I opened my dorm room, only to be attacked by a mass of black spiky hair and 4" heels that clamped around my waist. Instinctually I swung my arms round to protect the midget, only to find that said midget was actually Alice and then I dropped her like a hot iron.

"OW!" Her lips jutted out in an adorable pot and her eyebrows furrowed. Combine that with 4" Prada heels wheeling about as she struggled to get up and was it any wonder I started to laugh?


	4. Coincidence?

**Sorry for not updating earlier, there is really no excuse. One of my fanfic hates is when author's don't update regularly. I hate it! **

Chapter 4 – Coincidence?

Bella POV

I didn't know what to use! I had the melody, I had the piano part I even had the bloody score! Just no lyrics. I mean, I had lyrics. I had the perfect lyrics that fit so nicely with the melody. I could picture Edward's voice matching the tune and winding around the melody to create a bridge on the best line. 'You are my everything', yes it fit _so_ well. So I did what I had too. I logged on and emailed him. Something I hadn't done in four years. I emailed my morphine.

Edward POV

_Can I use your lyrics, I need them for an assignment, I created a perfect piano part and your lyrics would complement them perfectly._Swan209.

I stared blankly at the words on the screen. The woman I hadn't spoke to in years had emailed and requested the lyrics she inspired. Why did she ask now? Of all times, why now? When I met _her_, why do skeletons resurface? I typed the reply and ignored the anger coursing through me.

_Do what you want with it on two conditions. One: Send me the recorded composition with whoever's voice you decide to use. Two: you don't email me again._Cullen107.

I quickly checked her profile, something I hadn't done in months. I found a new writing.

_How can I still want you, after all this time?_

_Come to me Romeo, I am your Sun. _

_I am yours, you are mine. _

_The moon has fallen, it has begun. _

_Looking for your Romeo?_Cullen207.

_Searching for my Edward._Swan106.

Four words. Six syllables. And my world was upside down.

An hour later I was lying flat on my bed, going through every conversation. Every word written. Every moment cherished. Me and Swan106 had a past, but was it possible. Plausible? The more I thought about it, the more it made sense. Me and her had been great friends and flirted very occasionally online. But it had never crossed my mind that Swan106 and I had ever crossed paths. Sure, I'd dreamed about where we would meet. Whether it would be raining, or sunny. Whether she'd be blonde. Whether she'd be petite or tall. After all my daydreaming I concluded that Swan106 and I could never meet. It saved me headaches and migraines. A seventeen year old can only take so much thinking in circles, never getting anywhere, before they build a wall. So I did, I said things I regret, even to this day. I remember our last conversation, the angry words and her tears. I said something I didn't mean, something that hurt her so much that she broke all contact, until tonight. After that… incident, she had blocked me. I could see her profile, check her writings. But she'd disabled her messaging and as for the writings, there were none. Just one word, crossed out. Hate. That word cut through my heart like daggers that crossed it out. She hated me. And she made that clear. That created my final decision. She was never to know the mask I wear. Cullen106 would remain a mystery.


	5. Marked

**Thank you my avid readers, I've received some very complementary and sweet reviews. Now, Hannah I have decided the recipe, I had so much fun doing that! 60% sugar, 30% angst, 10% candy = candy floss with a bitter aftertaste coloured pink (sugar) and black (angst) with a white fluffy centre (candy), swirl it up and hope it tastes nice! Alex, aka ^^ thanks for reviewing, Heaven, Hell, now get your butt over to Lost Souls and review here too!**

Chapter 5 – The Confirmation

Bella

Monday could not come soon enough. I had done _everything_ I could not be more prepared. All I now needed to do was record Edward and then I could present my work to the professor and get a decent mark. I closed my eyes, the tears came infrequently and at the most inconvenient time. (Take a supermarket add an inconvenient thought reminding me of four years ago = Bella in floods of tears with a cashier trying to do her job, not one of my _finer_ moments.). I came down from my heartbreak by chanting the notes in my head, A, B#, B flat, hold the B flat then move on to the high E, hopefully he can get to that cause, I am NOT changing it, that is the best line and the best notes. OW! In all my thoughts I forgot to look where I was going and tripped. Right into Edward's arms. Yippee. (_I was being sarcastic here, Bella doesn't want to see Edward at the moment until the score is perfected) _He caught, but he didn't seem too happy to see me. _Well, buddy boy _that_ feeling is mutual)_. He nodded his head at me while I ducked down and started to collect the score sheets that had fallen out my arm. He immediately joined me and I scowled, I may be a girl but I have lasted long enough without a man thank you. Instead of handing them back to me like I expected him too, he looked at them and then at me, then back again. A half smile covered his face but it never reached his eyes. He was sad.

"Can we record it now? I mean, if your not busy, I just, just wanted to, well, hear it, I guess." He mumbled and I nodded, collating my score and leading him to the campus recording studio.

Five minutes later I was playing the opening chords and Edward stood protectively behind me, (we had the campus pervert in the room, pretending to listen while he was really checking out my butt). The tune came into play then and as I played I felt something course through me. Something I'd never felt before. It started softly at first, spreading slowly like lava, through my veins. I felt it start at my heart and slowly travel to my toes, growing in strength every second it was there. Fizzling and mutating my very _soul_. By the time it had travelled back to my heart it was tenfold and I was pounding on the keys in frustration and hope and… love. I loved Edward Cullen.

**Now I'm not going to leave a cliffy, the rest of the chapter is just below. I just wanted to have a three second break while I told you why I wrote this scene in the recording studio. I had dreamed of the love growing with time, in music and so forth. But, I couldn't wait any longer. Many of you will say it's too soon, but, remember, Bella and Edward had grown to like each other before the… incident, Edward even more so. They needed this and who am I to deny my characters there cushy frustrated piano scene? **

Edward POV

I heard the song start, a few opening chords. It was so hard to hold on, I was gripping Bella to stop myself from breaking. I was hanging on to a ledge by my fingertips, every note brought me closer to slipping and telling her. Every note it got harder to hold on. Bella was getting frustrated and angry, her notes portrayed that. Every line was more intense that the last and the more I sang the more frustrated she got. This was the song I had written for her. This song was hers. I thought the lyrics were good but her notes made them… magic, surreal. I had no doubt Bella was talented, just not this much. She could turn a few lines into a ballad of hope and love and loneliness. And I fucking loved her for it. On the last four lines I gave 'my everything', I was sweating and gasping and shaking and she was too. She turned to me, shock and love in her eyes and I broke. I flew off the ledge and I couldn't be sad about that. One minute she was sitting on the piano stool, the next she was in my arms, my lips crushing hers with so much force it knocked her breathless. She tasted so delicious. Strawberries and sin. The perfect combination. Her lips moved with a new vigour and her hands buried themselves in my hair, tugging slightly. This sent me into a near frenzy and I barged past her lips and forced my tongue between her teeth, causing her to whimper and shift beside me. This spurred me on more as my hands found their way to her hair and dug into her scalp. When we broke away my lips never moved from her skin, tasting her neck and jaw. Crawling past her chin and sucking on her neck. I was going to give her a love-bite **(a hickey in American terms)**, I was going to mark her as mine so no other man could touch her. And I did, there on her pale, delicious neck lay two bite marks, deliciously read and aching. She was _mine_.

**Okay hands up, who likes POSSESIVEWARD? (sees thousands of hands in the distance). Well, well, well, I am now going to be very, **_**very**_** mean. **

**Reviews = POSSESIVEWARD! If that isn't an incentive to review, I don't know what is. **


	6. And It All Falls Down

Chapter 6 – And It All Falls Down

Her eyes opened and met mine and in an instant, I fell. Fell for her. But, I saw a flicker of life in her brown eyes and then, nothing. They'd died. Her chin rose defiantly and her eyes turned hard, cold and angry. She said one word and my world came crashing down.

"No." One little word, I closed my eyes at the sudden tears and hoped like hell I could hold it in. I couldn't. One lone tear fell down my cheek and onto my shirt, her eyes softened marginally but she still ran out the room while I stood there, powerless.

Bella POV

One word and my future was lost forever, but I needed to say it, it was necessary and if I didn't stop it there I would regret that decision for the rest of my life. I'd look back in forty years time and feel bitter resentment for the man by my side. I could not and would not let a man dictate my choices. After I was done here I would go to be an English Lecturer and then I would live my life. And it would be exactly that, mine. And as I run out of that studio, my head held high, silent hot tears cascaded down my face. I would have done anything to be numb but all I could think about was his breath on my neck and his lips on my skin. It made my life just a tiny bit unbearable.

Edward POV

Once I get into a state I do anything to get out of it. I reach out to others. I reached out to Swan209.

_Help me, Swan, she said no, she denied me_Cullen109.

_Try again_Swan209

_I'm scared._Cullen109

_So is she_Swan209.

_I don't want to lose her_Cullen109

_Then don't_Swan209.

The conversation ended there and I checked her profile, there was one more piece.

_Your sweet breath,_

_Your sweet taste._

_It's wrong to want it, _

_But I am placed._

_I need you,_

_I want you._

_I have no right to you,_

_Other than you are mine._

_Forever._

_Never._

_I can't decide. _

Bella, wanted me. That proved it. But, she was scared and so was I. I would giver her time, time to decide.

**Sorry it's such a short chapter, I can't drag things out to long otherwise they lose something, **


	7. Time

**Sorry I hadn't updated for a while. My Dad nicked my laptop, sigh. **

Chapter 7 – Time

The days following the 'incident' were… difficult. I reached out to Swa209 a.k.a Bella and she reached out to me. She had written more in the past few days than any other time. She had three postings.

_I dream of your sweet eyes,_

_I dream of your sweet kiss._

_How can something so right,_

_Feel as wrong as this?  
_

It is not wrong.

_Love,_

_Desire  
Hate  
All can grow in a moment_

_All can die in one too._

_  
_Take the risk.

_Lovers dream of summer lawns_

_Of songs sweet lullaby._

_But for lovers reality soon dawns_

_And it is time to say goodbye._

_  
_I will erase time.

Bella POV

Fear. It cripples you, twists your stomach in unnatural positions that hurt the soul and deny the heart. Everyday I looked into his emerald eyes. Saw my future there, if only I was brave enough to take it.

_What scares you so?_Cullen106

_The thought of control, or lack thereof. The thought of no will, all my decisions made with him in mind. That is not freedom, no matter who call it free._Swan209

_In some ways it is free, depending on what free is. Freedom is choices is it not? And choice is freedom. Isn't he worth the lack of control?_Cullen106

_I'll tell you when I decide_Swan209.

I wrote for her. I wrote for myself. I wrote for my heart. I wrote for my soul.

_Sing to me, _

_Take a breath._

_Know what you do to me,_

_Just yet._

_And I'll be here for you,_

_Holding your hand,_

_Wherever we go,_

_Through strange lands._

_Through paradise,_

_Scuttling around like little mice,_

_I'd die for you,_

_Lie for you._

_All for you._

_All for you. _

_It's beautiful. What's the melody?_ Swan106.

_Soft, mostly instrumental but piano chords playing lightly in the background. So soft, like feathers._Cullen209.

_I wish you could play for me_Swan106.

I made a mental note to play for her, someday. I was starting to feel guilty, Bella opened her heart to a stranger and that stranger betrayed her. What would she think of me if I told her? She'd hate me. I shuddered at the thought and went to bed. I needed sleep or I couldn't think. I needed to think.

Bella POV

IS it wrong to want someone knowing it could never be right? To desire something that could be disastrous? My answer was simple, I didn't have an answer. I ignored Edward and spent my time with Cullen209, it seemed twisted and silly, but, I could feel myself falling for two men.


	8. Deadlines and Reckonings

Chapter 8 – Deadlines

Bella POV

The final day loomed, where me and Edward had to perform and record our piece. One problem, we'd rehearsed it once and my self control had slipped because of the meaning it those words that were meant for me. It was like he was singing for _me_, playing for _me. _It had been one of the most intimate yet conservative experiences possible. He was bearing his soul. And I stamped on it. I stamped on Edward Cullen's soul.

Edward POV

_You held me,_

_You loved me._

_I held you,_

_I loved you._

_But it's too late,_

_No one believes in fate. _

_We weren't meant to be,_

_And yet, its too hard not to see._

It's not too late, I forgive you. I wanted to say those words so much, but I couldn't. Not without blowing my cover. She'd hate me. I'd love her. Torture, pure, pure torture.

Bella POV

Days past and one day, the deadline was staring me in the face. Today. I had three hours and thirty seven minutes. I was so screwed.

Luckily, or not so luckily depending on how you look at it, Edward sought me out during lunch despite my dubious efforts to avoid him.

"Um, hi Bella." He whispered, not daring to look me in the eye. I bit my lip in frustration but understood the necessity to have it that way. I would have got lost in those endless depths and would have despised myself for it later. He grimaced and I sighed, this would be awkward.

"I was wondering if you would like to rehearse the song, the deadline is today?" He posed it like a question and this annoyed me, I liked and appreciated confidence. And at that moment, Edward had none.

"I was fully aware of that Cullen, I'll see you in the studio." I said coldly. With one acknowledgement I turned on my heel and walked briskly to the studio, Edward in tow.

Edward POV

Why did I have to say that to her? I could see it in her eyes that she was angry that I'd assumed she'd forgotten. She got snippy with me and showed the way to the studio.

"Were here." She said simply and opened the door for me, I shook my head and motioned for her to go first. She rolled her eyes and pursed her lips but was otherwise obliging. I sat down on the piano and started with the opening chords of her song, the song I wrote for her.

_Sing to me_

_Take a breath_

_Know what you do to me_

_Just yet_

_And I'll be here for you_

_Holding your hand_

_Wherever we go_

_Through distant lands_

_Through paradise_

_Scuttling around like little mice_

_I'd die for you_

_Lie for you_

_All for you_

_All for you_

She gasped and I turned to see her, she had tears streaking down her face. I closed my eyes and wished I had never caused so much pain.

Bella POV

It was him. All along it was him. He was the man who had haunted my dreams and crushed my heart. And he knew, he knew it was me. He would have known the second I asked for those lyrics. And he did _nothing._ Nothing. Not one little clue, not a whisper. And I _hated _him for it. Well and truly. My face contorted in anger and one lone tear cascaded down my cheek. I blinked furiously and ignored every feeling coursing through my body.

"Good song. We'll get an A." I commented and spun on my heel, too afraid too lock back but terrified of what lay ahead.

_Personally this is ma favourite chapter, it speaks of raw emotion and feelings. It was surprisingly difficult to write, but it is also very deep and emotive. I love it, I hope you do too. _


	9. Grow Up!

Chapter 9 – Grow Up

EPOV

Three days. Three _stinking_ days. I had stayed in a dark room for three days. The only intervals were to eat drink and bathroom breaks. My family had just about had enough.

"Edward GET UP!" My twin, Alice had said the same thing every morning, and like every morning I'd grimace, shake my head and throw a pillow at her. By the third day, I'd ran out of pillows and Alice; patience. She'd brought Jasper and Emmett, my sister's boyfriends to turn me out of my sanctuary. The first thing my mother said to me was "Edward, you reek. Go shower.", charming, absolutely charming. Next time I'd stay in for a month, see how they care then. As if reading my mind my Mother called after me.

"Edward. I'm taking the lock off your door. Don't get any ideas." Drat, plan 1 foiled. Plan 2, make a new plan. Plan 3 carry out plan. Good plan, no?

I didn't even wait to do the performance. I just walked out, unable to see her face again. The hurt in her eyes. It wasn't fair on her. What would she think? That I got close to her so I could know? That I used her? I tried not to think about it, it hurt too much. I just couldn't face her, see the light die in her eyes. I couldn't do it. She had written, for me.

_I am lost_

_I count the trees_

_But all I see is mud_

_And evergreens_

_My mind is a maze_

_Twisting, always twisting_

_Resisting, always resisting._

_It's no use,_

_The fire consumes_

_I am burning_

_In hatred_

_In love_

_Burning_

_Forever, burning. _

I did that, I made her burn. My thoughts rested back on that mistake that happened not so long ago…

**Cliffy! Sorry, I needed a little break from writing and it's hard to get back into the swing of things. I will work extra hard on the next chapter, but be warned it will take awhile. **


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